This is my time of the year.
Halloween is my holiday spirit animal, our favorite annual conventions are around the corner, I adore Christmas, we get to chill with family, friends, and food around Thanksgiving through the end of the year, my birthday is in late December, etc.
In short, I’m an over-excited hot mess.
I’m decking the halls with giant spider webs, jack o’ lanterns, and skulls. I’m assembling a kick ass costume that I’ll use for Fincon Expo 2017, Halloween, the Renaissance Festival, and the Board Game Geek Convention. I’ve started hoarding Christmas gifts for others as I see them. I’m in my seasonal happy spot.
Why It’s Harder to Write
But during moments of inactivity, I take emotional punches straight to the face. I dwell. I dwell on the people that aren’t here anymore. I dwell on the baby that didn’t happen. I dwell on my insecurities and short-comings. I dwell on not being the happier, less wrung-out, younger version of me…the me who started this site back in 2010.
I want to be a positive person that others enjoy being around. I still love helping and aim to make others laugh. I crave connections. But it’s like there is less of me. All of the qualities that combine to make me are on a dimmer switch being operated by a squirrel on crack…all extremes.
My main goal for the rest of this year is to truly accept my current self. I’ve earned some of my pointier edges. I’m more empathetic to others because I have more life experience. I don’t suck.
Do you ever need to remind yourself to be nicer to yourself? Dwell much? What tricks help you get back on track and feel re-balanced?
FYI: I worked at a dead end cubicle job from 2005-2011 for about $30,000 per year. I went self-employed in July 2011 and make between $70,000-$90,000 through blogging, professional pet sitting, hubby's reffing, and our rental home. If you’d like to start your own site (link to my free step-by-step guide), I highly suggest checking out Bluehost (my referral link with a nice discount for you, PLUS a free custom header banner from me!). Please contact me any time at budgetingfunstuff*at*gmail*dot*com with questions or just to brainstorm! I’d love to help!