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Another, Scarier Miscarriage But I’m Okay

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For anyone following along, Len and I have been trying to get me impregnated for a couple of years.

Our Last Try

We went from cool-if-it-happens to we’re-going-to-actively-make-this-happen around October 2016.  I bought some ovulation sticks, peed on a dozen of them over as many days, had sex when they indicated we should, and we got me pregnant in November 2016.

Well, that ended in a miscarriage in January 2017 with a blighted ovum (dumbass scary name for just no baby in the basket).

This Attempt at Baby Making

We waited a couple of months and I started peeing on ovulation sticks again in March 2017, which led to me getting pregnant again.  I was worried about another miscarriage and had been making them give me blood tests as soon as I peed positive.

Up to the beginning of last week, I had taken 3 blood tests that had led to Progesterone suppositories but generally good signs, so they were going to wait two weeks to give me my first ultrasound.  I requested a fourth blood test because I wanted to see higher numbers and that the suppositories were really working (no one wants to keep using vaginal suppositories if they aren’t doing shit for you).

That fourth blood test last Monday showed a big drop in my Progesterone and a very small increase in my HCG.  Those are the main indicators for a miscarriage, and specifically for ectopic and blighted ovum miscarriages.  They got me into an early ultrasound and found the ectopic pregnancy.  Yay for that fourth blood test!

What is an Ectopic Pregnancy?

An ectopic pregnancy means the gestational sac isn’t in my uterus.  Specifically, it’s in one of my fallopian tubes.  For anyone not versed in miscarriages, this sucks.  If this isn’t caught early, it means a ruptured tube – bleeding out into your abdomen or having an emergency surgery where they remove the tube that explodes.  You are hopefully not dead but down to one fallopian tube.

I received two shots of chemo to the butt last week instead of needing to be rushed into surgery.  They’ll be monitoring my blood to make sure the chemo does the trick, or I’ll need the surgery anyway if it doesn’t work in two rounds.

Side Note About my Doctor’s Crappy Staff

My doctor performed a great D&C for our first loss and seems to know how to keep me alive now.  The nurses I’ve spoken to on the phone seem nice but removed.  But her office staff and the ultra sound tech are simply cold.

The tech was matter-of-fact that there wasn’t anything in my uterus and just plowed through to find where the gestational sac was hanging out.  It was like it was a given we had miscarried, which it wasn’t until that exact second, and I was a slab of meat with a cool mystery in it.

The front desk lady was  actually was too involved with her lunch to get a question answered by the doctor, so she was just going to guess at when my next appointment time should be.  I actually went and found my doctor in the hallways and asked myself just to pass along the answer to the front desk lady because it was faster and I needed to escape.

We will be changing doctors and offices as soon as this miscarriage is all wrapped up.

Miscarriage Summary

Long story short for those who skim – I am going through another, more complicated miscarriage.

I’m actually handling this one better since last time it was the emotional loss of a bunch of new hopes and dreams.  This time one of the outcomes could have been death.  Not in the “yeah, technically you can die at any time” kind of way either.  In the “crap, that’s one of the leading causes of pregnancy-related deaths” kind of way.  That is a little smack to the face.

Nothing says “be happy for what you have” like “at least you’re not dead”.  And sadly for the medical personnel in my future, this totally has reinforced the fact that I will continue be annoyingly demanding for blood tests in any future pregnancies too.

PS  If you know Len, online or in real life, please do not send him or give him condolences.  I don’t mind them and appreciate human connections.  But to him, they are just reminders of craptastrophies.  And we have had way too many craptastrophies in the last year to deal with, so he rather just handle them internally and move on.

UPDATE – May 15, 2017:  My first follow-up blood test showed a significant drop in my HCG, so I’m mostly out of the woods.  No rise in HCG means the cells aren’t multiplying, so my tube will most likely not be forced to explode.  I’ll have my results of the second blood test by the end of May 17 and will know for sure if I’m through the scary stuff and just have to deal with miscarriage in general for the next few weeks.

FYI:  I worked at a dead end cubicle job from 2005-2011 for about $30,000 per year.  I went self-employed in July 2011 and make between $70,000-$90,000 through blogging, professional pet sitting, hubby's reffing, and our rental home.  If you’d like to start your own site (link to my free step-by-step guide), I highly suggest checking out Bluehost (my referral link with a nice discount for you, PLUS a free custom header banner from me!).  Please contact me any time at budgetingfunstuff*at*gmail*dot*com with questions or just to brainstorm! I’d love to help!
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13 thoughts on “Another, Scarier Miscarriage But I’m Okay

  1. I’m sorry to hear you are going through this, but thankful that you advocated for yourself and saved your own life. Sending hugs and good vibes your way.

    I’m also glad that you realize the practice isn’t right for you. So many women ignore their gut thinking it’s just the way it is and the doctor is the professional. My sister’s first labor and delivery was a disaster and I knew from everything she was saying from the beginning that she needed to change. However, she wasn’t comfortable with my practice because she only wanted female doctors. After the first baby she found a new one she was much happier with, but ended up having two c-sections because of the first doctor’s incompetence. Interview several ob’s until you find the one. I had two amazing experiences (and it even turned out the doctor that delivered my second daughter had delivered my baby sister 20 years earlier) because I interviewed several that were recommended to me.

  2. Well, that just sucks. Hope the drugs work for you. Once again, been-there-done-that, but w/in a day of getting the drugs, was back for emergency surgery.


  3. I’m so sorry for all the different, shitty things that are going on in this post. I want you to know there are great doctors out there who also have great staffs who understand that the uterus is connected to the brain and patients have real feelings.
    I’m sorry you are having a miscarriage. And I’m sorry for all the stories people will feel obligated to tell you about their own great docs and great pregnancy experiences. Or about their own negative experiences that were “Way worse than yours!”
    I hope that your tubes behave properly next time. I hope your ovums remain unblighted. (Several words in the sentence I’m not sure actually exist, but there you go.)
    I’m thinking about you. I hope to see you at FinCon again this year. You always make me smile.

  4. Awe, that stinks Crystal. I will be praying for you and for a quick and safe recovery from this craptastrophy.

  5. Crystal,

    I’m so sorry you had this experience (miscarriage AND crappy staff). Maybe your body is telling you that this just isn’t the right time for you. After taking some extended time off for your body to get back to normal you’ll eventually be there.

    Best wishes!

  6. I’m so sorry for your miscarriage and the awful scare that went with it. But glad you pushed for peace of mind and got the blood tests. I hope everything continues to improve and that the third time will be the charm…with a better OB practice. There are some great one out there, so hopefully the one you experienced was an anomaly.

  7. Holy God, you’ve made me cry with this story. Since no one makes me cry anymore, I guess that’s an accomplishment.

    I’m so sorry. What a horrible experience. But thank goodness you found out what was happening and managed to forestall a catastrophe.

    Find another quack, for hevvinsake. Ask other women, if you can find some who have been through difficult pregnancies and/or miscarriages. Also, it might be worth even looking on Angie’s List, which now lists ratings (supposedly: take with a grain of salt) for doctors. Does the Mayo Clinic have a presence near you? If so, you might seek help there. Doctors are extremely competent, and the staff treats you as though you were…you know, a human being.

    Have you thought about surrogacy?

  8. Thank you, everybody. I do appreciate your condolences. I’ve been seeing them pop up as y’all made them but didn’t really want to respond earlier. I’m feeling okay physically (still crampy and bleeding, but that can take a few weeks). Emotionally, I’m on a roller coaster. One day will be hopeful and about be grateful for what I have. The next I’m a cynical bitch that wants to rain on every parade in existence.

    The chemo shots seemed to do put me on the right path. The first tests showed a big decline to my HCG and I have another one on Tuesday that will hopefully confirm no more tube baby…

    Yes, I am totally switching doctors. Have even narrowed down my options to two thanks to recommendations. I’ll be asking to meet them as a new client before we get me pregnant again.

    @Laura, well…shit. That truly sucks. No one wants shots in the ass just to have surgery the next day. 🙁

    @Mrs. 1500, HAHAHA. I also hope my ovums remain unblighted. Your wording was right up there with one of my friends that sent over “Sending healing light to your little uterus and tubies!” Y’all really do make me laugh, hahaha.

    @Funny About Money, I actually didn’t intend to make anyone else cry, so that kinda sucks. Sorry! And no, now that I truly understand that every pregnancy could mean death, I would never ask someone to take this on for me. Surrogates get like all of my respect points right now. Sort of like right after I took a few pole dancing classes for fun and realized that my respect for strippers went through the dang roof.

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