Okay, so I’ll just throw this out there – keeping things sexy starts by being in a good place between you and your significant other (SO). If that’s covered, then I’m guessing that you’re only reading this because you’re wondering if I have any new ideas and/or you liked the “free” part. Got your attention! Let’s see if any of these sound good to you.
You don’t have to hire a sky writer to make an impression. Here are some free ways to communicate your intentions.
1. Compliments – It sounds obvious, but if you haven’t hit on each other recently, try it. Something as simple as whistling when they put on their pants or whispering a lovey-dovey “you look great in that” in their ear can ramp up the hormones.
2. Notes – Aren’t amazing with verbalizing your feelings? Try writing a sexually charged note or plan for the evening down and putting it in your SO’s line-of-sight before they go off to work for the day. Or slip it into their laptop case. The point is that at some point during their day, they will have a nice surprise and get to think on it until they get home.
And don’t turn this into a sitcom, if you are not 100% sure that they will be the only ones to see it unless you let them know it’s there, then let them know to look for it! A sexy note doesn’t have to be a complete surprise to be a turn on.
3. Sexting – I know, you just rolled your eyes. Either you already send sexy texts to your SO, or you may think this is immature or silly. I was the one who thought it was dumb…but it can be extremely fun! If you aren’t naturally naughty, try sending a direct but flirty note. You know each other’s sense of humor and inside jokes – use that. Just connect. Be as dirty, silly, or classy as you’d like. The point is to send your SO a little text shout-out to let them know they are wanted physically.
One of my friends buys a new, sexy outfit online at least a couple of times a month. They work and she seems happy. But I’m too cheap for that. Here are some tips to ramp up the sexy without emptying out your fun money account.
4. Ladies, meet him at the front door or track him down in the house wearing nothing but one of his button up shirts and a smile. Or maybe a low cut top and some heels. Whatever makes you feel sexy and you know has an effect on him.
5. Guys, remember if she likes you scruffy or clean cut and then put on the shirt she said looked nice on you last. Wear that, your underwear (or not), and a little grin. Or your SO may appreciate you all decked out, so dress up and have a date night in!
6. Browse at home. If you really do want to find a sexy outfit to wear out or just to feel nice, look through your dresser drawers and closet with a different mindset than usual. Or let your best friend help you out. I was amazed at how many sexy outfits my Girls’ Nights friends were able to throw together for me using nothing but what I already owned. Then they added to it with their own stuff. I love my friends. Past costumes may have parts that look great with slightly lower cut tops or slightly shorter bottoms than you usually wear. A long black skirt can look amazing with a push-up bra and black tank top. Tight black slacks and a low-cut blouse are classically sexy anytime.
Or if you really do need to buy something, hit Goodwill or thrift stores in your area. I found a great little black dress at my local Goodwill for $15 2 years ago. Works like a charm with some wedge heals and some lip balm (Mr. BFS actually doesn’t like makeup and I’m not attached to it, so when it’s just us, I go low maintenance).
Breaking the Routine
Do not get me wrong, I am a big fan of time away with your SO. Mr. BFS and I purposefully plan and take 2-3 trips a year together away from work just so we can enjoy time away from our responsibilities and with each other. BUT, we couldn’t afford that 10 years ago. And we can’t afford it every time we want to enjoy each other’s company either.
Since routine is the death of lust, here are some free ways to spice things up:
7. Ladies, if he hasn’t been in the mood lately, think of some little ache or pain he has mentioned. Then massage it away – a short foot massage, back massage, scalp massage, or hand massage can really pave the way to more. Relaxation and comfort are the way to a man’s libido even if sexy outfits aren’t.
8. Guys, if she hasn’t been in the mood lately, do the dishes, clean the counter, and sweep the floor before making a move. Specifically, clean up the area that bothers her the most on a regular basis. Follow that up with her favorite shoulder or foot massage, and she’ll probably be way more welcoming. We women are multi-taskers with brains that don’t really stay on just one subject, and it is much easier to concentrate on fun times if we aren’t thinking about the chores we need to do afterwards.
9. Reclaim your house (at least the comfortable parts). I’m 33 years old and wouldn’t suggest impaling yourself on super hard or pointy surfaces, but try making your move in a comfortable part of your home that isn’t the norm for you two. Floors, couches, stable chairs, guest beds, etc. Just remember to bring a few towels and you’ll be fine.
10. Time it differently. Routine isn’t just about physical locations. You and your SO probably have a pretty regular schedule of some sort. Ask your parents, friends, or family to babysit if necessary and claim a full day to yourselves. THEN, plan something you haven’t done for a while. Read a book to each other, watch a whole game of your favorite sport, use that Netflix subscription or DVD collection to have a movie marathon…just relax together. Use that time to catch up. Try to remember the moves you two tried on each other when you first met, then laugh at yourselves and do better.
Just one day of hanging out could lead to the best sex of your lives. And it doesn’t have to cost you a dime! Enjoy!
Mind sharing any other free tips for keeping a relationship exciting? Please chime in!