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Feeling Emotional

My maternal grandma is in the hospital.  So is my husband’s great uncle.

My Family

I’m from a large, emotionally charged family.  I don’t want to tick off any of my family with sharing a ton of history, but a quick summary is that my maternal grandparents had 8 children.  My mom was the fourth.  I am one of the older grand kids (there seemed to be about 3 waves…I was in the first one…number 3 of 10).  I spent a lot of time with my mom’s younger siblings and my grandparents while I was growing up.

This whole situation sucks.  But I’ve enjoyed connecting with my extended family again.  And then I feel bad about thinking about the positives while my grandma is struggling.  There is a good chance that she will make it through this infection and the other crap right now.  But she will still be 85+, my grandpa will still be nearly 90, and there will still be struggling.

More Family

My husband comes from a small, more reserved family. His grandparents on both sides had 2 kids each. My husband is the only grandchild. His great uncle lives next to his paternal grandparents. This past week has sucked for that great uncle since he’s in the hospital with a brain bleed. He’s in great spirits and made it through a successful neurosurgery to remove dried blood from his head.

But we haven’t even visited yet because he’s about an hour away and we’re exhausted (hubby’s keeping up with pet sitting and softball reffing while I’m at my grandma’s hospital and he really hates to go to hospitals at anyway). So there’s some guilt.

The IRS

I’m trying to visit my grandma several times a week, keep up with pet sitting, keep up with the online work, AND we’re meeting with our tax lawyer today too. 

I’ll write about this in more detail once it’s resolved, but the IRS literally lost our 2013 amended tax return, so we are having to file a petition for tax court before our deadline even though they have everything including a new, faxed amended return and just refuse to take care of this without us spending thousands. By the end of this, we will be spending $2000-$6000 to fight them off with a stick. They think we owe them $23,000 that we never made because they actually pulled their info off of the wrong line of our tax form.

This is so frustrating and scary. Which is combining with my nostalgia, worry, sadness, and guilt. Which is combined with my trying-to-get-pregnant feelings.

And I’m just emotional goo.  With back pain.  BLECK!



FYI:  I worked at a dead end cubicle job from 2005-2011 for about $30,000 per year.  I went self-employed in July 2011 and make between $70,000-$90,000 through blogging, professional pet sitting, hubby's reffing, and our rental home.  If you’d like to start your own site (link to my free step-by-step guide), I highly suggest checking out Bluehost (my referral link with a nice discount for you, PLUS a free custom header banner from me!).  Please contact me any time at budgetingfunstuff*at*gmail*dot*com with questions or just to brainstorm! I’d love to help!
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7 thoughts on “Feeling Emotional

  1. Oh no, what a huge mess of stress to have on your plate right now! 🙁 I hope you can at least let go of the guilt part, at least, because you’re already do the best your can, no sense in beating yourself up for things out of your control. And so much is out of your control. Sending all the best wishes to you and yours! And sending a good kick in the pants to the IRS because WHAT??

  2. I would ask you to encourage your husband to visit his great uncle in the hospital. No one loves hospital visits, but picture yourself old and with a tiny family, lying in a hospital room, wishing for company.

  3. @Edith, my hubby has been covering the pet sitting for me during the day so I can handle my family stuff and he refs softball in the evenings. But his great uncle is rarely alone thanks to his grandpa on that side and my retired inlaws. They have been trading off shifts and sending their best to my grandma while I send our best to them. My husband will visit next week if his great uncle is still there, but his craniotomy went great and he may be home by then…

  4. When we went through this with my wife’s mother, I suggested she imagine looking in the mirror when everything is over (the immediacy has been removed) and ask herself, “Did I do my best for Mom and me?” It helped a little (don’t want to oversell the idea).

    Look, nothing can make these situations easy, but we need to find a way to live with and through them. Be kind to yourself in the process. It sure sounds like you two are deliberately choosing the best path when you are so busy.

  5. Stay strong with the IRS, they audited us a few years ago saying we owed them over $50,000 on unreported income–we did report it. And a year when we rolled over our large IRA’s from one back to another, they said it was reported by the first bank as a distribution, the bank had closed, and they would not accept my documentation saying it was a rollover and bank statements showing a rollover. But we kept in contact with them, gave them paper after paper, documentation they wanted several times as they kept loosing everything. After well over a year we were down to just owing them $400 and at that point even though we didn’t owe it, we just paid it anyway. As for the health issues this comes along with aging parents and grandparents we just finished over 20 years of caregiving, hospitals etc. We treasured every moment we had with them and helped them mentally, physically, financially, and had small parties in the hospital with family members, when they came home had someone there every day. We work full time with long hours at work but we pulled it off.

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