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Taking a Step Back from Being the Budget Nazi

Sometimes, money just doesn’t matter as much as your sanity.  I think I am going to take a little break from being on top of absolutely everything money-related for a couple of months at least.

Driving My Spouse Crazy

On Monday, I went inside of a Popeyes Chicken to get a $1 refund since they overcharged us in the drive-through for hubby’s meal.  Since Mr. BFS had already paid and just wanted to blow it off, it annoyed him that I pursued it.  I was annoyed that he was annoyed at me for getting our money back, so we started snapping at each other (come on, admit it, that is always how the stupid fights start…)

Anyway, the end result was that Mr. BFS thinks that I prioritize money above all and it frustrates him when I expect him to do the same.  Well, boogers on that.  I don’t want to worry about money any more than the next person, but I sort of just naturally do…

That said, I am now on a self-imposed money-thinking break.  I’ll still get the bills paid and do the basics, but we are not tracking our food spending or anything else.  We’ll just do what we normally do and see what happens.

Not a Spending Spree

Please note that we are not going to start spending willy-nilly.  I just won’t be tracking every dollar that goes out.  My best guess is that when I get him to take a look a couple of months down the line, I bet that our food spending will be higher than normal and there will be a few splurges that weren’t planned.  That’s always what happens when I stop tracking everything.  But if that makes married life easier, the extra $200 a month will be worth it.  We’ll see.

And yes, before you ask, this is my own idea.  I still want to slap Mr. BFS upside the head simply since I don’t agree…I think my priorities are clearly people, then money, then everything else.  But if he wants stuff to be more laid back, I can at least try and see what happens.  If we really don’t start wasting tons of money, then maybe I will keep the budget-crazy part of myself on a leash.  But if we obviously start spending a lot more, he’s just going to have to deal with me being more money-oriented than him.  So we’ll see…

Don’t Worry

What this means for all of you is simply that I will not be posting food spending updates.  That’s all that’ll change here, lol.  I can be more laid back with tracking, but the money part of my brain will never turn fully off.  So no worries, BFS will stay pretty much exactly the same, hahaha.  I will be leaning on all of you to talk money since I am going to try to shut up about it at home.  ;-)

 Have you ever had to just back off to keep your significant other from exploding into a million pieces?

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12 comments to Taking a Step Back from Being the Budget Nazi

  • I think you guys will be fine because you not thinking about money is the equivalent of most people thinking about money. Yes, you might spend a little bit more, but I’m sure it will be well within what you can afford and, knowing you, it’ll only last for a couple months at most. No first class around the world flights or crazy splurges like that… unless they’re free from points! :)

  • Like Lance said, you are miles ahead of most people just because you are money conscious. I stopped tracking every cent awhile ago and it’s freeing. You’ll find that your habits won’t change that much, likely.

  • Hmmmm, I really can’t comment on this one without either having you or Len mad at me, can I? LOL! Personally, I see nothing wrong with you tracking your spending, and especially not with wanting a refund for being over-charged. Had you ordered something off the dollar menu and the place just didn’t give it to you then of course you would want a refund (or the item), so how is this any different? You have got where you are in your life and business because of your smart money management style. That said, I think you will be fine with a few months of splurging, but I also think you will likely look back and kick yourself at the ways you spent some of the money… it is amazing how fast it gets spent when it isn’t being monitored closely (and I have a just completed $15K remodeling project that can prove this point – LOL).

  • I track everything we spend more for my peace of mind, but we are doing fine financially so my spouse doesn’t really complain about it. I find if I don’t track my spending on my food costs I spend way over what I would have had budgeted. The temptation is too great I guess! lol

  • Mrs. Beagle thinks that sometimes I’m a little too nitpicky on every dime we spend, but I’ll usually retort that she’s not nitpicky enough (leading to one of those arguments that you mentioned *lol*). After we both cool off we both agree to meet in the middle which usually keeps things running smooth until we eventually creep back to our ‘normal’ spots over time.

  • Hah I sometimes become the nazi in our relationship. I have taken a step back. I used to talk about every single charge, but my hubby would get stressed and flustered and we would end up fighting about money. Granted, our life is easier now, since we both have jobs, so I try not to point out all the little purchases.
    Although in my head, I still track everything, and think how all these little purchases add up so quickly.

  • christie

    This post has a lot of wisdom. I think you will have a long and happy life together if you both can get this.

    The Most Important Question : Do you want to be right or do you want to get along ? It is important to respect your husband / wifes / what ever comfort level. This is not about money. You could be talking about cleaning, eating, watching TV. Your husband is not out of control. He is not spending the rent money or gambling or what ever. Nothing he is doing is threatening your success. It would be very, very different if he was. But, he is just asking that you not go after saving every dime, every time, every day.
    I hope this isn’t too Preachy. I just think it is very important. You are making a great decision. ; )
    ~ Christie

  • Edwin Sierra

    Maybe your husband doesn’t see a need to be more cautious for just the two of you. With a baby, I’m sure you would see him come around. Maybe it’s time! ;)

  • Lurker

    Yeah, sure, like a baby ever helps anything. She already has one, but let’s get another! I looked up quotes about babies solving marital problems and couldn’t find one. However, I did find a lot of divorce lawyers and good deals on moving trucks.

  • I’ve definitely not complained about being overcharged before. At the time I felt it wasn’t worth the effort, especially when it was something like $.50-1.00, but usually later I’ll think to myself why the heck didn’t I say something. Good for you for being proactive! Although sorry you got in a fight with the hubby over it :(

  • I probably shouldn’t show this post to Kyle because he might want me to do the same! We’ve had the exact argument you described about whether or not to get a mis-charged $1 back. I’m doing a better job not thinking about our budget all the time, actually, and he hasn’t told me I’m obsessed recently.

    Good luck with the break! Marital harmony is worth a bit of $.

  • @Lance, thanks for the support!

    @Tushar, I hope not. :-)

    @Denise, Mr. BFS never reads my blog, so this is definitely just between you, me, and the other 15,000 readers a month. ;-) I’ll be careful that we don’t go nuts. We have a $6300 dental bill coming up that will probably shock him into spending hardly anything for a while, lol.

    @Anita, that’s why our food bill inches up when we aren’t tracking. But we’ll see…

    @MB, sounds exactly like what happens here. :-)

    @SavvyFinancialLatina, exactly! It’ll still be in my head…

    @Christie, sometimes being right really isn’t enough. Plus, when he realizes that the extra $100-$200 a month means less vacation money, he’ll come over to the money side too, hehehe.

    @Edwin…uh, nope. :-)

    @Lurker, loved your response. I don’t think we’re at the give-it-all-up stage, but point well taken, hehehe.

    @thepotatohead, no worries. It happens sometimes. :-)

    @Emily, yep. I also sort of think he’ll come around to budgeting tight again when he realizes the money flows out too fast otherwise. This usually happens every few years.

    @