I’ve always been a fair tipper at restaurants, but I’ve noticed that I’ve started tipping even more lately. When I was in college, I made sure to leave 10% for mediocre service, 15% for good service, and 18%-20% for great service. Those were my tipping numbers for the last 10 years. But lately I find myself almost pitying waitstaff. I actually sit there thinking, “That poor person has been on their feet waiting on all of us for hours…I don’t think I could pull that off…” and my tips have been around 20%-25% most of the time.
Our Visit to Outback Steakhouse
My husband actually pointed my new tipping standards out to me when we were eating out this past weekend. We had a gift card to Outback Steakhouse so we decided to make a date night out of it. They sat us immediately, but it took 15 minutes before anyone bothered to take our drink order. It took another 10 minutes to get our drinks (apparently because the wildberry lemonade on their menu is pretty hard to make…yeah, right).
They took our food order when they delivered the drinks. I ordered a medium 6 oz sirloin with a small portion of Mahi (fish) and a baked potato. My husband ordered a medium-rare 10 oz ribeye with mashed potatoes. We got served about 20 minutes later. My husband’s ribeye was perfect but my sirloin was gray inside and the fish was so overcooked it was rubbery. I very politely pointed out the problems to our waiter and asked if he could possibly at least have a new piece of fish thrown on the grill since I could deal with the steak but the fish was inedible. He agreed and took my plate.
A few minutes later, the manager came by and apologized for the mistakes. He ensured me they were recooking me steak and fish to order. Then the waiter came by again to apologize as well. I said it wasn’t a big problem and thanked them both. Then I sat there and watched my husband eat for 15 minutes and ate yet another tiny loaf of the rye bread I adore.
My food was redelivered by yet another employee and they asked if I could cut into it to make sure it was great. It was perfect, so I dug in. While chewing, the manager and waiter came by yet again to make sure everything was okay. I nodded, swallowed, and thanked them. I then asked if refills were free on the lemonade but the waiter said no. I cannot believe I paid $2.50 for a single lemonade. Oh well.
Our Tipping Compromise
I was pretty full from the food I already had eaten – the bread, baked potato, and about 10 bites of steak and fish - and ready to go home since we had been there for more than an hour and a half, so I asked for a to-go box and the bill. I handed over our gift card to cover the $33 tab. When I went to leave a tip, I was about to write in $40 total and my husband pointed out that would be about 20%. I asked what he would tip and he said $3 since they made us wait 25 minutes for drinks and screwed up my entire order so I sat there watching him eat. I argued that they were really nice about correcting my order, and we compromised at 15%.
How Do You Tip?
I have been thinking about this since then (not alot, but enough to write this post, lol). What is the proper way to handle tipping when service sucked but they tried to correct it? Do you agree with what has been in the back of my mind – they should have given me another lemonade? I know it’s funny, but that ticked me off more than messing up my meal…
What would you have tipped? Do you have the tendency to overtip like me?
I have always been a stingy tipper, it’s a character flaw.
With that said, I am trying to do much better. I am at the point now, where I am very willing to tip well for excellent service (20% – 30%). However, if I am not satisfied with my service, I will always let the waiter and manager know, and I sometimes don’t leave a tip, or if I do, nothing above 5%.
I understand that it is not always a waiter’s fault, but I really have no patience with bad service. Like I said, it’s a character flaw and I am a work in progress.
I do have the tendency to over tip because once long ago I was a waitress, and I hated it.
In this situation, I would have asked to speak with the manager and nicely pointed out all the issues that I had that night. I did this before at Applebee’s when I had a miserable experience like your trip here, and they gave me a $15 credit toward my next visit. If they compensate in some way for all of their mistakes, then I tip according to the actual service I received from the waiter. (After all, it’s not his fault the kitchen screwed up and then was slow.) However, it sounds like there were some other issues with the waiter too.
I pay for good+ service. For mediocore service the server/kitchen has been paid via the price of my meal. If they actually do something well, i’ll compensate.
I look at it this way: After asking a mechanic to put 4 new tires on your car s/he lowers the car from the lift, and the tires are flat. Would you pay and roll away on the rims? Nope.
If a restaurant can’t get my food right, is tardy in their engagement AND can’t even comp me a $2.50 drink (which I wouldn’t have needed had the food been prepared right the first time) after screwing up – big fat 0.
I paid what they asked me to pay. I don’t tip the convenience store guy for ringing in my bag of chips and giving me change. It’s not a service worthy of tip. Neither is being made to wait, being given an incorrect order and then snubbed on an item that costs them $0.10 to produce (if that).
I usually tip pretty well. But in this instance I think 15% is completely fair. Your server did sound really accommodating after the fact with your food being over cooked, and to be fair that really isn’t the servers fault, but with taking so long for drinks and to even have your order taken, I think 15% is a good compromise.
I always tip about 20 percent, but in this case, 15 is what I would have given. The bad food was not the fault of the server, but everything else was.
By the way, I agree, the second lemonade should have been on the house.
I also tip well. While I was in college many years ago, I was a waitress and it is hard work. I agree that it’s hard to be on your feet all day and serve people politely, no matter how they treat you.
There have been a few experiences at restaurants where I’ve had to wait of I didn’t feel the service was very good, but I still left a decent tip. I just can’t bring myself to leave less than 15%.
We tip between 15-20%—-we have been known to go over 20% for excellent service or special accomadations (sometimes I just want something that isn’t on the menu….usually just pasta noddles or a BLT).
We always make sure to base our tip on the pre-tax and pre-coupon amount.
I tend to go along the lines of what you ended up doing, where 15% is the floor for below average service. I typically end up around 18% and will cross up into the 20% mark if we are wow’d by the service.
One thing I’ve started doing is tipping to make up for the fact that we drink water. My wife and I both generally order water, which is free, but when I add up the tip, I’ll add $4 to the pre-tax total in order to calculate the tip. That generally adds $0.75 or so to the tip, which is fair since the server did have to spend the same time getting and re-filling the waters as they would if it were a soda or lemonade.
Taking so long with the drinks is 100% the server’s fault, but the food not being properly prepared is not. I wouldn’t tip more than 15% in this case – probably around 12%.
I would have rounded up to $40, but that is because I always round up.
Crystal I’m typically a pretty good tipper, 20% on average. Many people forget that if they apply a coupon that they should count the tip to the pre-coupon amount. I hate when I’m out to dinner with someone and they have a coupon (like a groupon deal) for say 50% off and then they only calculate the tip on half the bill. That really screws over the waitstaff!
I was a waitress for years… I usually overtip as well. For this situation, sounds like the waiter could have done more, like bring your hubbie’s food back to kitchen to keep warm until yours was ready. Though, that wasn’t the only problem. Were the really busy? Did you express to the manager the other concerns you had? I would have asked to have the food taken off, but I would have overcompensated the server. Sorry you had a bad experience.
Another former waitress here who tends to overtip.
One thing I do, if I have a bad experience at a restaurant, is to try to get the store on my circuit for mystery shopping. Undertipping a server only indicates to the server that something was wrong, and usually they take that something as “the customer’s a jerk”. If I provide an honest mystery shopping report, though, it’s seen by the manager and sometimes the general manager, and action can be taken that can actually make a difference for the restaurant – training, more staffing, etc (to my knowledge, no server has ever been fired as a result of any of my shops).
I tip 20-30% regadless of the service. I do this because I used to wait tables and I know that the person is relying on their tip to survive. Often times your server isn’t at fault for delays and food mix ups.
Sorry you had a negative experience. I think your tip was very generous, all things considered. We usually do the same, around 15-20%
I am shocked that they didn’t comp your meal! I agree that none of the food issues (besides the drinks) were the waiter’s fault, but at that point, the manager should offer you something for the horrible food and the wait. At least a free refill on your lemonade!
I used to wait tables too, but I don’t tip for bad service. Good on you for complaining – a lot of people suffer in silence.
Wow, I wasn’t expecting so much response! It looks like a lot of you were waitstaff before. I haven’t been a waitress, but I assume it’s rough to be ordered around all day, be on your feet, and try to stay perky the whole time…
And yes, I know the food wasn’t on the waiter…he just ticked me off with the 25 minute wait for drinks.
I over tip. I was a server, and I know how crappy it can be to have the kitchen hold you up, or the bartender screw up a drink and have it reflected in your tip. I overcompensate and give the server the benefit of the doubt to a fault, so I end up tipping anywhere from 15-25% (I only tip 10% or below if it’s been REALLY bad) on sometimes mediocre service.
Count me into the group that’s shocked you didn’t get your meal comped!
So, just to play the side of the server here…
That you had to wait so long to get your drink order taken isn’t cool. Maybe the restaurant was super busy, maybe your server was actually on a short break and no one told him he’d been seated. It happens. Whatever. Not the end of the world, but not the best.
But the waiting ten minutes for your drink thing? Totally legit. At most restaurants, especially chains, anything that isn’t milk, water or fountain pop is typically prepared by the bartender. When your waiter said your lemonade was “hard to make,” that was probably a really nice way of saying the bartender was “slow and lazy.” Not the server’s fault. (Also not his fault that the drink you ordered didn’t come with free refills. You should have asked before you ordered it.)
Similarly, the server didn’t cook your steak and fish. He (presumably) relayed your order to the kitchen staff, and shy of cutting into the steak himself and eating it, he had no way of knowing if it was OK or not. You told him it wasn’t, and he rectified the situation. That’s the very definition of good service.
So anyway, to answer your question, I probably would have tipped the $40 (total) you were originally going to lay down, or something in there. (It’s hard to judge since I wasn’t there. Lots of nuances in serving!) I know you had a bad time, and I’m not at all trying to discount that, because I know how frustrating it can be! I just find a lot of the time people equate “bad experience” (i.e., food overcooked, no free refills, long wait) with “bad service,” when most of the things you complained about were completely out of the waiter’s control. You know?
All that said, I totally WOULD have asked the manager to take your meal off the bill, since it too so long for your new meal to be prepared. (Not the server’s fault, but still enough to ruin an evening, so would warrant a discount.)
We were taught that the ethical tipping should be at least 10% of the total bill. Although you received a bad service on your initial serving, I think the waiter and the manager was able to turn the table around when they replaced your steak and fish. They even extended the service when they checked how the steak was recooked. But yes, I think they should have served a free glass to make up for the bad dish.
I am a horrible tipper but I am getting better. That said, I still would cut down my tips significantly if service is not great. Waiting 20 minutes for a drink or just to take an order qualifies as a bad service on my books.
fyi: You should tip the server based on the original bill (pre-coupons and pre-giftcard). The server has to tipout to busers, hostesses and bartenders based on the original total, so it is the server who really suffers if people don’t tip reasonably.
I’ve been a waitress before so I know how things can be. The restaurants are stingy and barely staff the place. So you end up over booked and running around like crazy. If you manage to do everything you’re supposed to do, the kitchen might still screw something up, in this case, and you get the short end of the deal even though it wasn’t your fault.
With that said, the new norm is 15% for less than ok service, 10% for bad service and 20% if nothing went wrong. At least that’s what I’ve been hearing.
Waiters get cranky hungry people and most work way too much. But the manager should have comped your meal.
A free lemonade is the least they could have done for you. My wife and I recently went out to a nice restaurant for an anniversary dinner and my wife’s fish came out undercooked. They apologized profusely and gave her a new meal free of charge. They also comped us for our desserts and cappuccino.
If my service is bad and its slow, I don’t leave 20%… But if it’s busy, I understand things can get crazy.
If I have a food issue, that’s not the servers fault, that’s the kitchen and its the manager’s job to make sure we are fixed and taken care of. I don’t hold that against the server.
I can’t believe the manager didn’t take the entree off the bill or at least comp the drinks. I would have probably tipped only 10% due to the bad experience.
15% is for okay service and 20% is for good to great.
I waitressed for years and actually loved it for the most part. I think that experience makes me both pickier and more generous. I’m a good tipper and have always thought that there are few ways in life where an extra dollar or two can make such a big difference in someone’s happiness when it takes the tip from good to really good or great.
That being said, I resist much of the tip-cup tipping since those employees are making regular wages not way-below-minimum-wage waitressing wages. I do tip a dollar for my coffee+ at DD after a friend pointed out that most of the people waiting on us there came from other places where they may very well have had professional jobs and advanced degrees.
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